Friday, December 5, 2008

The Zombie Survival Guide: Part 1

The Zombie Survival Guide: Chapter 1: Locations, locations...

In order to help the zombie surviving populous, I have decided to assemble a list of the Do's and don'ts of a Zombie apocalypse. If you follow all of these tips, your almost guaranteed to make it out of any flesh-munchers sent your way. Without further ado, chapter 1!

Locations, locations....

Summary of Various Locations:

1. Hospitals: Out of any possible location, you don't want to end up in a hospital. Not only would these be places in which the infection started and spread, but they're also home to many corpses, i.e. The morgue. Zombies are dead, people, and going to places with dead people is not a good idea. (Note: This also rules out Medical Examiner's offices, and Funeral Homes)

2. Zoos: This one is kind of somewhere in between neutral and bad. It may not be detrimental, but ONLY if the virus does NOT spread to animals. Only if you see non-degraded animal corpse (or multiples) can it be considered safe to enter a zoo. If you HAVE been attacked by a zombie animal, be it a crow, or an ever-popular dog, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT enter one of these establishments. If Zombie's weren't enough, you'll now have to contend with Zombie Elephants, Zombie crocodiles, and even (in some rare cases) Zombie Giraffes. Zoo's are a definite no.

3. Alleyways: As with all enclosed spaces, Alleyways are a no-no. You can very easily find yourself stuck in a choke point. Hoards can also block you off very easily, as alleyways usually have only two entrances, and you may run into blockades set by your very own fellow humans. Being on the wrong side of a crashed van or 7ft fence is not a very wise life decision.

4. Refugee centers: Normally, refugee centers don't last even half the time before the chopper arrives to collect the living. Refugee centers also prone to accepting infected, normally before they become flesh-munchers, so the virus will spread quickly. That, and refugee centers are usually crowded, attracting large hoards of the undead, who, upon arrival, cause massive panic and stampeding.

However, on a brighter note, abandoned Refugee centers can be looted for ever valuable ammunition and medical supplies, making them a good stop if traversing an overrun urban center.

5. Police Station: A number one choice amongst survivors seeking weaponry, a police station is full of valuable weaponry and ammunition. You can also make an either heroic, or practical, stand, using jail cells and hallways to your advantage. Radio's also are in such places, which can be used to contact rescue, and armored vehicles, which can be used to MAKE rescue.

6. Gas Station: Almost every city has a gas station per block, a valuable location for gas and food, a place to repair your vehicle, and to restock on supplies. Also, a well-placed bullet can start a zombie-deterring fire, useful for making a quick getaway when under duress.

To be continued in locations Part 2......

4 comments:

Tracer Bullet said...

And this is going to happen when? Seriously, everyone has a bank of useless knoledge somewhere, yours seems to be centered around various TV shows, improv and the "impending" zombie apocolypse.

Dibsy said...

Well then, my good sir.

L.T. John said...

Calvin, what the hell? Lighten up a bit, man! And get a dictionary. You're spelling is terrible.

Tracer Bullet said...

What does spling mean?